


Definition of oblivious idiot

by moonagestar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idiots getting their shit together, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Remus Lupin, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27551257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonagestar/pseuds/moonagestar
Summary: “When are you going to tell him?” Lily asked.“What’s the point on telling him now anyway?” Remus questioned back.“That’s what you always say and where has it gotten you?” Lily retorted. “You’ve spent almost half of your life pinning after him.”Or the one where Remus is the definition of oblivious idiot.
Relationships: (past) Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 112
Collections: Wolfstar Games 2020





	Definition of oblivious idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Team: Touch
> 
> Prompt: More Than Words by Extreme

_Saying I love you_

_Is not the words I want to hear from you_

_It's not that I want you_

_Not to say, but if you only knew_

_How easy it would be to show me how you feel_

_More than words is all you have to do to make it real._

\- _Extreme, More Than Words._

“When are you going to tell him?” Lily asked.

“What’s the point of telling him now anyway?” Remus questioned back.

They were sitting on the sand, while James and Sirius played with Harry in the shallow part of the sea. Sirius had arrived the night before. It was one of those odd sunny days in London and they had decided on doing a quick trip to the beach. 

It felt like ages since the four of them had been together at the same time and place. Last time had been the Christmas Eve in which Remus announced that Tonks was pregnant. After that, Sirius had only come back to London once. Remus had been away for a school trip that time and wondered if it had been intentional, but never asked. After that, Sirius stopped visiting altogether. James and Lily had been the only ones to see him when they had travelled to take Harry to the Disney parks.

Three years of not seeing him.

“That’s what you always say and where has it gotten you?” Lily retorted. “You’ve spent almost half of your life pinning after him.”

Remus didn’t need her to say it to know that. As his 29th birthday was fast approaching, it would have been approximately fifteen years of being pathetically in love with Sirius Black.

James came out of the water towards them. “Harry wants his octopus,” he said to Lily and she went through her bag searching for it. “What are you two up to? Remus whining about Sirius?”

“When is he not?” Lily rolled her eyes and gave the rubber toy to James.

“Oi!” Remus complained, but couldn’t exactly argue with them. He looked at Sirius, who was going in circles inside the water, while holding the five-year-old against his chest. Harry was laughing loudly at the motion and Sirius smiled pleased. His eyes went back at them, therefore noticing Remus looking at him.

The stare lasted less than three seconds, as James came back and splashed the pair.

“I just think, you shouldn’t let him leave again without knowing,” Lily finished and got up to go take pictures of them.

Even when sitting from afar, the whole scenario felt just right. Sirius playing with his godson and looking like he was having the time of his life. Remus wondered for a second if it actually could be possible. Sirius returning his feelings, them being a couple, having weekends like this with the Potters and also with Teddy... But would Sirius want that baggage? If there hadn’t been a chance in the past for them, why would there be a chance now that Remus had a son? That tied Remus to London, and he knew the last thing Sirius would want was to be tied to London.

But just watching those eyes spark while playing like a kid in the water made Remus wish it was possible.

***

“James, I need you here!” Lily called from the bedroom.

“Keep an eye on Harry, will you,” James said and rushed to the room. Not like Remus needed to do much, since the toddler was drifting off on the couch, too tired from all the playing at the beach.

Remus pulled out his phone and checked his notifications. There wasn’t much except for some pictures of Teddy that Tonks had sent him. He had blue paint all over his arms, as well at some in his hair. It impressed him how at just two years old he was already proving to be so much like his mother, always too happy to end up covered in paint.

“Jamesy, I think you need to buy more shamp-” Sirius said entering the room, stopping when he noticed Remus. “Where’s James?”

“He went to help Lily with something,” Remus looked up at Sirius, noticing he was only wearing his jeans, while he dried his hair with a towel. Sirius had never really cared much about being too muscular, but Remus could see that he had some new abs that he had hinted at the beach but hadn’t been able to really notice. He wondered if it was for a new role.

“Like what you see?” Sirius teased.

Remus noticed his mouth had been hanging a little open and he shook his head a bit embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize for that,” Sirius smirked. He noticed Remus’ phone and pointed at it. “How’s Teddy?”

“He’s great. Loves blue paint apparently.” Remus extended the screen so Sirius could see the picture better.

“Isn’t he a cute little mess.”

“Takes after his mother.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius arched an eyebrow. “I would say his dad is quite messier.”

“I’m not messy.”

“That’s only because you use a laptop now, but I remember quite well how you used to be always covered in ink back at school.”

It was odd how that detail had seemed to escape Remus’ memory. He had always blamed it on being left-handed, but Sirius would always say that didn’t explain how he managed to get ink in his face as well.

Remus lied about not noticing. He always noticed when it got to his face, but he secretly enjoyed having Sirius pointing it out and offering to clean it for him. He would hold Remus’ chin with one hand and gently rub the handkerchief with the other. It was a very simple touch, but to Remus it meant so much than just that.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I always am.”

They smiled at each other. Remus briefly thought that could have been the perfect moment to bring up the subject, but before he could even try, James came back looking rather stressed. “Why is it that I’m the only one to get asked for last minute favours?”

“What do you have to do?” Sirius asked.

“Pick up some dresses for the wedding. Does no one else in Marlene’s or Dorcas’ family can do it?”

“You’re the fastest choice because they ask Lily, and everyone knows you won’t say no to Lily.”

“Sadly,” James picked up the keys from the kitchen counter. “Better get going then.”

“Wait,” Sirius stopped him. “I can pick up the dresses if you want.”

“Sirius, you don’t drive.”

“Remus does.” He turned to Remus. “What do you say, Lupin? Want to be my chauffeur?”

Although taken aback by the request, he did want to spend time alone with Sirius, which he suspected was Sirius’ reason to offer to go for James. Or maybe he was reading too much into it and Sirius just wanted to get away from the house because he was bored. Whatever the reason was, he decided not to overthink it and merely agreed to it. “Sure. How far is it?”

“It’s close to where Lily’s sister lives, so not extremely far.” He tossed Remus the car keys and took out his phone. “I’ll send you the address.”

“Great. I’ll go get changed,” Sirius said and went upstairs. Once, he was out of the room, Remus looked back at James who had on that smug grin of his.

“What are you smiling at?” Remus asked.

“Me? Nothing.”

“You all act like teenagers.”

“I’m not the one who was blushing because his crush asked him to drive him.”

“I wasn’t blushing.” Had Sirius also noticed?

“Sure you weren’t.”

The sound of steps running down the stairs stopped Remus from arguing furthermore. “Alright, let’s go.”

While Remus started the car, Sirius set up the address on the car’s GPS. “Sorry for stealing you like that, I just thought we could use the time to catch up.”

So, he was right after all. “I’d like that,” he smiled at Sirius before starting to drive. “Although, you should know my life doesn’t get more interesting than talking about kids. Not even necessarily mine.”

“I don’t understand why you’re still teaching at that boring school.”

Remus sighed. That was a question he constantly asked himself. “It’s what pays the bills. The kids are not that bad. Although, I do believe they only try to impress me because I’m friends with a certain famous Hollywood actor.”

“You’re welcome,” Sirius chuckled. “I can post a selfie with you this weekend to give you something to talk about in a few weeks when classes start.”

“Got to admit that’s more interesting than introducing Shakespeare.”

Sirius gasped. “Oh, no. You’re not about to insult Shakespeare in my presence.”

“I don’t need to. You already know my thoughts on him.”

“You always went to see me at my plays.”

The way Sirius had gotten into acting had been through the adaptations of Shakespeare’s plays that they did at school. Remus thought it was ridiculous that they forced them to do one every year, but he would always get off easily by helping with the scenography. Sirius on the other hand absolutely loved it and would always get cast as the lead man.

“It’s not like I had much of an option,” Remus joked.

“You tosser. You went because you liked them.”

That was only partially true. “No, I went because I liked you– Acting! I liked to see you acting.”

Sirius hummed. “Right.”

The car remained silent for a few seconds. There was something Remus was dying to know and, although he had heard the rumours, he wanted to hear Sirius say it. “Can I ask something slightly personal?”

“Since when have you needed to ask permission for that? Just shoot.”

“How’s Gideon?”

“We broke up,” Sirius answered in a bored tone. “Haven’t heard from him in a while.”

“Can’t say I’m sorry about it. He only used you to show you around like a trophy.”

“Yeah, I’ve never exactly excelled at the relationship department,” Sirius sighed. “Well, might ask as well. How’s Tonks?”

It felt weird to get asked about Tonks. Of course, people always wanted to know about Teddy, but it was common knowledge that Remus and Tonks kept their private lives separated for anything that wouldn’t impact Teddy in any way.

Everyone knew that. Except for Sirius.

“Great. She’s dating this gal named Fleur now,” Remus answered.

“Oh,” he sounded relieved for some reason. “Good for her.”

“I lied when I told you we got back together,” Remus admitted. “I only told you that because...” Because he was jealous of Gideon at the time and wanted to show Sirius he didn’t care. “I don’t know why I did it. I’m sorry.”

 _You have reached your destination!_ The car assistant yelled and Remus stopped the car. He looked over at Sirius who had still not said anything, his eyes fixated on his lap. When Remus started debating whether he should say something else or not, Sirius opened up the car’s door. “I’ll go get the dresses.”

“I can go with you.”

“You only came as my chauffeur, didn’t you?” He spat bitterly and slammed the car’s door.

The past three years had been the rockiest in Remus and Sirius’ friendship. Sirius only told Remus that he was leaving a week prior to it. Remus had pretended he didn’t care, but he had felt betrayed.

They didn’t speak again until after Teddy was born.

Sirius called to congratulate him, which had been probably the most awkward conversation the two of them had ever had. He only found out about Sirius dating the new romcom sensation Gideon Prewett when the stupid Zac Efron wannabe had posted a picture of Sirius on his Instagram and it blew up.

Next time Sirius called, the whole _getting back together with the mother of his son_ lie came out without him even planning it.

He had to admit it hadn’t been his best move, but part of him felt content with Sirius not knowing he was the loser single father he had in fact been all that time.

Around fifteen minutes had passed and Remus was starting to wonder if Sirius had decided to leave when the man in question made his way back to the car. He shoved the dresses in the back, before he sat down again in the passenger seat and looked at Remus, with a calmer expression. “I decided that I don’t have the right to get mad at you for lying because I did as well.”

“What do you mean?” Remus asked with furrowing his brow.

“Gideon and me, we were never a real thing. It was more of a publicity stunt with casual sex in the midst, but nothing else.”

The pair broke into laughter, not quite believing the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Are we even then?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, we are,” Sirius smiled at him.

They made their way home with much less tension in the air. The subject seemed forgotten, although Remus couldn’t help but think what had been the reason why Sirius had decided to lie to him as well. He briefly wondered if it had been the same reason he had for lying about Tonks. And wouldn’t that be crazy?

***

_Sirius gave a small yawn. Remus checked the clock and was surprised to find that it was already 4am._

_Since Remus always went to sleep later than the rest, Sirius had started to take on the habit of sneaking into his bed whenever he was having trouble falling to sleep. Remus would read to him whatever book he was reading at the moment or they would talk until they got tired enough to go to sleep, which usually happened around midnight._

_This time Sirius had insisted on staying up longer, as it was their last day of the year before having to go back home for the summer._

_“It’s late,” Remus said._

_“I don’t want to leave,” Sirius pouted._

_“It’ll be fine. Besides you can always call me whenever your family feels like too much.”_

_“Can’t wait to hear all your fascinating adventures in Wales.”_

_Remus rolled his eyes. “I hope to not bore you too much.”_

_“I don’t think you could ever do that.”_

_It wasn’t the first summer they weren’t going to see each other, but during that year Remus and Sirius had gotten closer than ever. He wouldn’t say it was as close as Sirius’ friendship with James, solely because Sirius and James were like brothers. What Remus had with him felt like something entirely different._

_“Rem… Can I sleep here?” Sirius asked with a timid voice._

_“If you want to,” Remus grinned._

_“I do,” he smiled back._

_“Come here,” Remus accommodated, opening his arm as an invite. Sirius laid on his chest and wrapped his arm around Remus, snuggling to him. Remus raised his hand to place it on Sirius’ head and caressed his hair. They fell asleep just like that and Remus had to admit it was the most peaceful sleep he had ever had._

***

The conversation with Sirius had left Remus with a feeling of hope he hadn’t felt in ages. Now he just needed to find the perfect moment to tell Sirius that he had been head over heels for him since they had first met.

Well, probably not exactly that.

That evening they were meeting at the Potters to have a small reunion with the rest of the group. When it came to any social gathering held by Lily and James, Remus was always the first one to arrive, usually because Lily called him to help James with organizing the house.

However, that night he had lost track of time by spending too much time scrolling through Sirius’ Instagram account, not that he would admit that to anyone, and when he arrived everyone else was already there, chatting in the living room about wedding stuff. He sat opposite to Sirius and waved at him. Sirius grinned and waved back.

The conversation followed topics such as Marlene bragging about how they’d be in the Caribbean for their honeymoon, while the rest had to stay in London’s shitty weather, Peter sharing that he’d soon be promoted, Lily making plans for Harry’s sixth birthday, leading to Dorcas commenting on how great Harry’s birthday had been the previous year, making everyone share stories from said day and from other days in the past couple of years.

Remus noticed Sirius had been too quiet for the majority of the night, nodding sometimes with an awkward smile, but not really following the conversation. He got up without saying anything and left the room. Remus first thought that he had gone to the bathroom, but after several minutes of not coming back he decided to look for him and found him in the backyard, sitting crossed leg at the small table Lily had there, flicking ashes on the floor from the cigarette in his hand.

“Didn’t know you were smoking again,” Remus said.

Sirius shrugged. “Want one?”

Remus shook his head. Sirius shrugged again and took another hit. “I suppose my spot in the group has expired.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please, it’s as if I’m not even there. Before you say that’s not true, how come you’re the only one who noticed I left?”

Remus sighed knowing he was right.

“I don’t really have the right to be upset, I was the one who left and did his life elsewhere. I’m not part of this anymore.”

“Sirius…”

“I fucking hate Los Angeles.”

This took Remus by surprise, Sirius had managed to form the image in everyone’s heads that he was living the life of his dreams over there.

“It feels so fucking lonely and I used to have you all here. And now I don’t even have that. But, I should be complaining, because who doesn’t everyone want to be a famous actor, right?”

“Sirius, no one deserves to force themselves to live a life they’re not enjoying. Just because–”

“Oh, save the motivational speech, Lupin,” Sirius interrupted him. “You don’t get to lecture me on having a happy life when you can’t even do it for yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can lie to everyone else, Remus, even yourself, but you can’t lie to me. I know that even if you love Teddy, you feel like Tonks has been the biggest regret of your life, and you settled for your shitty teacher job because it’s the only thing that saves you from feeling like you’re disappointing everyone even though you hate it.”

“What do you know?” Remus said now in an angry tone. “You haven’t even been for the majority of that because you left me.”

Sirius stubbed out his fag with the sole of his shoe and pulled himself off the table. He stared at Remus for a few seconds and gave a big exhale. “What did you expect me to do?” He didn’t sound mad anymore. His face looked like a mix of exhaustion and sadness. “I’ve been pathetically waiting years for you to tell me that you love me and when I finally thought that it was going to happen, because you called to say you had something important to tell me, all you had to say was that you were having a baby with my cousin instead.”

This stopped Remus. “…You’ve been what?”

“Are you still going to pretend it’s so hard for you to say anything because you don’t know how I feel, rather than because you’re too scared to be with me?” Sirius said, sounding mad again.

“Why didn’t _you_ say anything? Why is it that the only one to blame here is me?”

“If I had said anything you would have ran away like a scared little mouse.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it? What happened every time that I tried to do anything slightly romantic for you? You’d be so lovely and caring, only to ignore me the next day and pretend nothing was happening. Every single one of your fucking birthdays, Remus, I would plan out the best possible surprise for you for months and you would spend the whole day giving me hugs and kissing my cheek to tell me how great of a friend I was, and then next day acted out like I didn’t existed until Lily would tell you to stop being a wanker.”

Remus froze, feeling a massive wave of guilt washing over him. He had been too focused wallowing in self-pity to notice he had been hurting Sirius this whole time.

“I’m tired,” Sirius interrupted his train of thought. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go to bed. Goodnight.”

Sirius entered the house again, while Remus remained in the exact same spot. His mind repeating Sirius’ words over and over. He couldn’t handle going back inside.

He merely texted Lily that he was feeling sick and went back to his flat. He walked as an attempt to clear out his thoughts, but it wasn’t working. It had been a total shock to learn that Sirius had known all along, and even more that he felt the same. Seemed ridiculous now to have been complaining about Sirius giving him mixed signals, when he had been the one doing that all along.

However, the thing that was hammering his head was learning that he had hurt Sirius that many times.

He hadn’t even tried, and he had already ruined everything.

***

_During those three years that Remus hadn’t seen Sirius, they talked over the phone a couple of times. They never missed each other’s birthdays no matter what. It always made Remus a bit sad, because it was practically the only two days in the year that he could pretend everything with Sirius remained the same._

_There were other nights when Sirius would call Remus out of nowhere (night in Sirius’ time, which meant a very early morning for Remus). Sirius would vent about work for around an hour, then sigh and ask Remus how things with him were. Remus realized once that usually the mention of Teddy made Sirius get slightly uncomfortable and finish the call quickly._

_The last New Year’s Eve Sirius had called Remus on a very drunk state and, although Remus had tried to make him hung up because he had chosen to make a normal call instead of calling through Skype, Sirius spat out that his stupid movies gave him enough that he could throw whatever money it cost him to the trash and his bank account would be alright._

_“Fine,” Remus gave up. “What’s wrong?”_

_“I don’t only call you when things are wrong,” Sirius defended himself._

_“Yeah, right.”_

_“I don’t,” he insisted. “I call when I miss you. Sometimes. I don’t call you every time I miss you, but every time I call you, I miss you.”_

_“Sirius…”_

_“I shouldn’t have left,” Sirius’ voice was now barely a whisper, but Remus heard it clearly._

_“Yes, you shouldn’t have.” The only reason he was admitting this out loud was the fact that Sirius would probably forget the conversation altogether next morning. “I miss you too.”_

_“Good,” was all Sirius said._

_“Good?”_

_“Yeah, it’s nice to know you feel the same.”_

_“Yeah, it is.”_

_“Happy new year, Remus.”_

_“Happy new year, Sirius.”_

***

Remus stayed in bed the next day. Or at least he tried.

He texted Lily that he was going to skip the rehearsal dinner and turned off his phone to not have to deal with her getting mad at him for it.

He tried to go back to sleep, but less than an hour had passed when James burst uninvited into the flat. He didn’t even bother knocking up and simply used the spare key Lily had made Remus gave them for emergencies.

“Oh, for fucks sake, get up,” James said and went to open up the blinds, ignoring Remus’ groaning. “You’re not missing the rehearsal dinner because you want to stay here and whine.”

“Fuck off.”

“Lily made me bring you food, I’ll wait in the kitchen.”

Knowing full well he had no choice, Remus got off bed and went into the bathroom. He wanted to shower, but James wouldn’t be too happy to wait that long. He settled with washing his face and put on a pair of sweatpants.

“Sirius told me what happened,” James said as Remus walked into the kitchen and snooped on the bag of pastries James had brought. His stomach growled at the sight. He took the first thing his hand could grab and started eating.

“Are you here to say you told me so?” He sat on one of the chairs next to the window.

“No, I’m here to tell you to stop moping and finally do something,” James snapped. “I’m just as sick of this shit as everybody else, but you’re not going to keep up this silly game that you have with Sirius.”

It was pretty rare to see James in an angry mood and Remus couldn’t blame him, he had outdone himself this time.

“Figure out what you’re going to do. See you tonight,” James finished and walked towards the entrance.

“Uh, James?” Remus called before he could open the door.

“What?”

“Why did you never call me out before?”

James turned around and sighed. “Believe it or not, I do think this is not my business. I always told Sirius he had to talk with you, because even if he says love is more than words for him, it doesn’t mean that applies to you. So, the fault is not only yours, Remus, but now that you know, _please_ do something.” And with that he finally left.

Remus finished eating and went to get ready. It was still a bit early when he left the house, but he figured there wasn’t much else he could do to fill in the time.

None of his friends were there yet when he got to the place, but Dorcas’ mum, who was also the wedding planner, recognized him and asked him to help out in organizing. He saw an escape once Marlene arrived with Mary, who was going to do her makeup while Dorcas went to calm her mother down.

“I can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow,” Marlene said, accommodating in her seat so that Mary could start.

“We all knew you two would end up getting married,” Mary commented and started working on Marlene’s eyes.

“You really only argued about marriage being stupid every time you two broke up,” Remus said.

“Oh yes,” Mary agreed. “When she was with Dorcas, marriage was a perfectly alright thing.”

“I still think marriage is stupid. I’m mostly doing it for Dorcas,” Marlene clarified. “She will deny it, but I do know that deep inside she’s scared we’re going to keep breaking up and getting back together if we don’t do this.”

“But you’ve been together without breaking up for what? Three years?” Remus asked.

“Four. Everything’s been perfect since we both moved back to London.”

“Then why would she think that?”

“True,” Mary agreed. “You only ever broke up because of distance.”

“As it happened so often, I feel like she will never get over it,” Marlene said. “But, hey. I’m not _just_ marrying her because of that, she _is_ the love of my life. I don’t want to be with anyone but Dorcas.”

“I want to say something, but it’ll probably make Remus mad,” Mary said.

“I’d say don’t say it then, but I’m sure you will anyway,” Remus scoffed.

“I thought that perhaps you and Sirius would marry first.”

“Oh, me too,” Marlene agreed. “I thought you’d have gotten your shit together by now.”

He felt it was useless to keep fighting the subject and perhaps he would get some clarity by talking about it. “What am I supposed to do?”

Marlene tapped Mary’s arm asking to let her go for a minute. “Care to fill us in what happened yesterday?”

“Well, he said he’s been expecting his whole life for me to tell him that I love him and now it feels useless to do anything because just walking up to him and telling him won’t cut it anymore.”

Both girls shook their heads. “Men, am I right?” Marlene said.

Mary nodded. “It’s really obvious what you have to do. Be romantic for once.”

“Yeah, just think of something that’s really special for him.”

“Or for the two of you,” Mary added.

“Look, everyone found it ridiculous that I proposed to Dorcas at home watching Heathers, but the first time we kissed was when we first watched Heathers. Which was also the first time I ate her out, but that’s beside the point.”

“I say you should do something after the wedding,” Mary suggested.

“But that’s tomorrow,” Remus complained.

“You had fifteen years to think about that, idiot,” Marlene said.

Mary finished with Marlene’s face and the three of them went back to the salon, where most of the guests were already on their assigned seats. He had been placed between Peter and Mary and, not surprisingly, facing Sirius. He waved at him with a timid smile, which Sirius returned, but Remus could notice that he was still clearly upset by the events of the day before.

Once the formality of the event was over and everyone went to mingle around, Remus found Sirius chatting amicably with one of Marlene’s younger cousins. The girl couldn’t be older than eleven and it looked as if she had been crying before.

“Your dress is perfectly lovely, anyone who says otherwise doesn’t have taste,” Sirius said to her.

“You really think so?” It was a tulle dress in different colours, making it sort of a rainbow of pastels.

“Yes, of course! I would much rather have a beautiful dress like yours than to wear this boring suit,” he pointed at himself with a disgusted look, making the girl giggle.

“It is kinda boring.”

“Those girls that laughed at it are probably just too bored and like to make people feel bad for fun. Don’t pay attention to them.” Sirius smiled at her and she nodded.

It was the moment in which Remus decided to make his entrance.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, making both heads turn around to see him. “Could I borrow your stelar company for a minute?”

“Oh, okay,” she shrugged and turned back to Sirius. “Will you dance with me at the wedding so I can make them jealous?”

“Absolutely,” Sirius smiled. “I’m already excited to see which fabulous dress you wear.”

The girl gave him one last full tooth smile and jumped off her seat to go somewhere else. Sirius raised up as well and looked at Remus. “Let’s do this outside.”

They walked out to the garden that was in the back of the building. It was filled with many gorgeous bushes with flowers on them. They walked around it and found a white bench to sit on. Sirius sat straight staring ahead, purposely avoiding Remus’ look on him.

“How are you?” Remus initiated.

Sirius huffed. “That was a lazy attempt.”

“Would you have rather I started with an empty apology?”

“Touché.”

“So…?”

“Tired,” Sirius sighed. “I didn’t sleep much.”

“Me neither.” Not wanting to lose the courage he had struggled to find, he dived in. “I know I fucked up. Big time. I want to say I’m sorry, but I know you deserve more than just a sorry.”

Sirius finally turned to Remus, his eyes looking glassy. Remus reached out to take one of Sirius’ hands in his and rubbed it gently with his thumb. Sirius didn’t pull apart.

“I don’t want this to be empty words. I want to show you that I mean it, if you let me,” he placed his other hand in Sirius’ cheek and leaned in until the noses were brushing. “Can I?”

Sirius nodded and closed up the space between their mouths. It was merely a shy brush of lips at first, but Remus couldn’t hold it any longer and grabbed Sirius’ face with both hands and kissed him with his all. Sirius held onto Remus’ waist and opened his mouth, inviting his tongue in. They kept kissing like it would never be enough, and it would probably never be enough.

It encapsulated fifteen years of longing and caring for each other. All those embraces and almost kisses, and the words that went unshared between them. It was a kiss that could only be defined by the word _love_.

They separated enough to regain their breath, staying just as close as they had been. “I can make it right,” Remus whispered. “I’ll show you I can make it right.”

“ _We_ ’ll make it right,” Sirius said and brought their lips together again.

***

_“If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?”_

_“Um, I don’t know. France?”_

_“Don’t be so bloody boring, Remus.”_

_“Only you would call France boring.”_

_“I go there every summer. It’s not that magical.”_

_“Well, where would you like to be?”_

_“Somewhere very high up in the sky watching the stars and listening to David Bowie.”_

_“We could do that in France.”_

_Sirius chuckled. “Yes, we could.”_

***

The wedding was incredibly beautiful. Remus kept thinking back to the moment when the girls said their vows and he looked across the altar to watch Sirius. He wasn’t crying as he had been at James and Lily’s wedding, but Remus could see the tears were basically there. Just as they exchanged the rings, his eyes went to Remus as well and he gave a timid smile, which Remus returned.

It was announced that the brides could kiss and everyone started clapping. Sirius diverted his gaze towards the couple. Remus didn’t take his eyes off him.

***

They spent most of the after party discretely talking between themselves and holding hands under the table while the formalities were done. James and Lily would later say that they looked like giggly teenagers that had only just started to flirt. Taking out the teenagers part, it wasn’t that far from the truth.

They danced for a couple of songs. Sirius stole a few kisses here and there, not that Remus minded in the least.

At some point, the little girl from the previous day came to greet Sirius and he left Remus to keep his promise of dancing with her.

Remus used the time to eat some of the mini cupcakes that laid at the food table. When he was licking the icing of his second one, he saw Lily walking towards him. He tried making an escape, but she was faster and grabbed his arm. “Don’t think you can avoid me all night.”

“You’re too nosy for your own good.”

“I don’t need to be nosy. I was already filled in with the details,” she smirked and released Remus, patting him in the shoulder. “I just wanted to say that I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you,” he said. She inspected her nails and tapped her foot. Remus decided to give in and gave her what she really wanted. “I should have followed your advice all along. There, I said it.”

“That’s all I truly needed,” she went in and gave Remus a peck in the cheek. “Enjoy yourself.”

She left and he diverted his sight back to the dance floor where Sirius gave one last spin to the girl while the song finished. He waved a goodbye to her as she ran back to her friends and went towards the spot where Remus was standing.

“Should we go back to dance?” Sirius asked, placing his arms around Remus’ neck.

“No, actually I was wondering if you’d like to leave.”

Sirius raised his eyebrow. “What do you have in mind?”

“Can you trust me and not ask questions for at least an hour?”

“Alright…” Sirius said skeptical and detangled himself from Remus to interlace their fingers. Remus led them towards the exit and to the parking lot.

“Where are we going that it takes an hour?” Sirius asked once they were inside Remus’ car.

“I said no questions,” Remus chuckled.

“For an _hour_?”

Remus nodded.

Sirius groaned. “It better be worth it. And you also need to distract me in the meantime.”

“Want to humour me with exclusive celebrity gossip?”

“Oh, you’re naughty. I bet that’s the only reason you took me away from the party.”

“Can you blame me? Life around here is too boring to fill my entertainment needs.”

“Boring? Please, there can’t be anything more interesting than hearing about the best theme idea for your toddler’s birthday party.”

Remus took them to his building, Sirius teased him asking if his plan had been to take Sirius to his bed. Remus once again ignored the question and led him to the top floor of the building.

“Wait a minute here,” Remus said leaving Sirius in the hallway. Sirius was getting impatient, when Remus came back and took his hand again. “This way.”

They made it to a door that opened up to the roof of the building. There was a blanket on the centre with a couple of pillows on top. Remus led Sirius to sit on it and reached the small radio he had brought. He turned it on, and Heroes by David Bowie started playing.

“You remembered,” Sirius said with a tone of surprise.

“It isn’t France,” he shrugged. “But thankfully that was my wish not yours.”

Sirius gave a tiny laugh, but it turned into a sob. “I’m sorry, I’m just too emotional.”

“Don’t ever apologize for that.” Remus pulled him into a hug and caressed his back gently. They descended until laying down on the pillows and Sirius cleaned his face with his sleeve.

“I really meant everything I said yesterday.” Remus tucked Sirius’ hair behind his ear and gave him a short kiss. “I love you, Sirius.”

“I love you too, you oblivious idiot.” And with that, he pulled Remus’ lips back to his and they spent the rest of the night tangled into each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


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